my map is different from yours

2009-12-05T09:26:00.000-08:00

sigh. really difficult to keep coming back to update. haha! not a habit.

tired out from the AI... hate doin AIs... unfortunately they are really useful. too bad e info keeps changing, n new info keeps coming in.

morale in acc is really low. i think we really need to find out what is wrong... hope everyone is still willing to solve the prob cos i agree that running away is the easier path.

baby, i know that you're not too comfortable with the attention that i sometimes generate and im trying to make sure dat you are shielded from it all. really sorry if i've made you feel so uncomfortable. =( i don't want you to give up too much of yourself for me. <3

2009-11-28T06:55:00.000-08:00

you asked me to update this so i guess i will. anything for you.

today was really nice, except for e last part. you were obviously in so much pain n all i could do was to go home... lik so utterly helpless and useless. =(

if i could take all e pain away, i would, even if it means taking it upon myself, but i can't. so please let me know what else i can do because im at a loss...

2009-11-11T04:58:00.000-08:00

omg... so long i really don't want to do anything else,so i decided to bring this back from the dead. with any luck it will not return to e graveyard.

today is 3wks and 4days to prom. had e ticket collections today. went well i suppose except for a small error dats gonna be fixed soon. i hope. became very clear how much time was left when we drew out e timeline... sort of. oh well, all e pw is over so no excuses anymore.

talking bout pw, the 'law' really has funny things to say for 09s25's I&R. really, all her ranting, e.g. WHAT RUBISH IS THIS!!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH??? etc. is really not useful. no doubt some of her points are valid, but if only she could convey her message in a nicer manner and ensure that dey understand her. cos they obviously have no idea why she's screaming a them. sigh... hope they can do well for PW. will help where i can, but i really feel sorry for those who have ST's who are unable to communicate normally.

got my results back. im advanced. means still studying... sad. oh well, make e best of it i suppose. sigh, really don't like math. i think i need 2 thank my teachers though, for being kind and understanding throughout this yr, with key exceptions, but yeah...

today was also e A level gp paper! if i had not retained, i think i would not have done well for it either. so far all e papers (GP and Math) sound horrible. jia you guys! jerome, ching kit, hong yu n loh yee really don't look lik their taking As. they are really enjoying life now... oh well, as long as one's happy right?

really need 2 go exercise. looking gross, and need 2 shape up for next yr. tribob in feb,march and may, and osim in Apr.

okay, finally run out of things to say. place is still a mess after renovation...

mrs bernadette lim's gift

2008-09-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

hey all ex-students of nanhua, if u still do not know, mrs bernadette lim will be migrating end of the year. the 14th students council (J1s dis yr) wants to give her a gift which she can bring with her. as such, we want to compile letters and notes of well wishes into a book that will be presented to her before she leaves. below are more details.

Who: all ex students of nan hua

What: a book of letters n notes of well wishes. pls remember to include any information necessary for her to identify u. pictures are welcomed.

Where: you can mail your letters or notes to mr edmund ng at nan hua high sch.

When: all mail has to reach us by 1st nov. if you send it before 5 on mon-thurs, e letter will reach e next day.

How: e 14th students council will gather e letters and place dem in e book and present it to her before she leaves

Why: while technology makes it very easy to communicate, hand writtren articles are much more personal.

please help us make this possible and help spread the word. thanks.

2008-09-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

e only reason i can enter this is cos promos jus ended n im not keen to go back to studying jus as yet. i suppose i should summarise wad has happened so far since the last post.
got into bannister hours committee as Admin i/c. Dont get y i keep being put in admin wen i specified that i dont want to. went to zhejiang n helped dem conduct an orientation camp. had chinese oral. registered for NS. cycled toand fro sch.3 stitches jus below e eyebrow frm rugby. badly grazed my knee and elbow cos i skidded and fell trying to avoid a woman who completely ignored e bicycile bell and din even turn wen she walked past me with blood running down my right side. promos. spent e remainder of the last day of promos at jieheng's house playing mahjong and in between.

2008-04-07T04:32:00.000-07:00

haha! handed in my pi today. felt so relived, though i dont think i did a good job. lessons were fine, only nearly fell asleep during chem lecture. was awake for e rest! hope tml will be able 2 avoid sleeping.

today 08S27 had an informal class lunch sponsored by jjc. dere were pastries lik chicked pie n dis choc thingy, noodles, chocolate fountain and drinks too! thank you to e sch. but abit paiseh, all go take e food. got ppl pack 2 take away somemore.

had math make up lecture. dis wk got alot of make up lecture. scared. lik don know anything lik dat. anyway, during math, was rather lost till e second half. but den not sure if still can rmb now.den got math test on thurs! argh. sad, mus chiong 2 prepare 4 it.

had dis lady come 2 try 2 sell her book in civics today. din really learn anything useful in e session. se was teaching us how 2 conduct ourselves. only learnt y guys n gals button on diff side. oh n learnt bout tie pin frm miss quek in e morn. otherwise had no idea how 2 use it. e sch should look into e removal of the tie. its not supposed 2 go with our uniorm.

2008-04-06T05:18:00.000-07:00

Sun already! wah... i have yet 2 finish my pi. i think its screwed. im thinking of starting a newspaper for e sch, but i not sure i can pull it off leh. (by e way, its my pi but even if i cant use it in e end, i still wan 2 start it in jjc.)

anyway, saw pengtiong on e news yesterday. quite funny. cheering his head off. but dere was no mention of jjc in e papers today. expected.

having narcolepsy sux. its so troublesome having to explain yourself and den doing weird things so i don fall asleep. ARRGH!!! just want it to go away.

Birthdays coming up. wonder if mable still rmb saying she'll get me a pair of shoes. mus remind her. cos otherwise i'd go get em myself.

2008-04-03T06:32:00.000-07:00

once again its been forever... quite surprised at some ppl 4 readin my blog. thank you anyway.

jc life is... terrible. im so behind cos of camp, in fact already was b4 camp. but both camps jus made it worse. not dat e camps were not fun. really learnt alot from both e camps.

all e tests are coming up, n im so unprepared. jus swamped with work. much of which, i don really have any idea how 2 do.prob e only subject i don hav an issue with is... well none really.

so wad hav i done so far? well, made many new friends. managed 2 piss my econs tutor off. was i/c for LINE camp, den got reassigned 2 admin com for CDAYL. tried 2 study, really tried. ahh, wad else... oh yah... nvm

should i hav joined council? too late anyway. so living with it, esp since i know i will never get 2 OCS, n will likely be down graded 4 NS. its so pathetic. n im waiting 4 rugby season 2 end, so i can join e team, n go take out my frustration on other guys twice my size who are all super strong. yep. sigh, so many things i want to do, so little time.

oh n 2 wanting, i'll giv u all e support i can, though sad 2 say, im not faring all too well on my own. sorry.

2008-02-03T00:06:00.000-08:00

was at chalet this past weekend with mainly e 211 guys. it was supposed 2 be lik a 211 gathering but e only girls dat turned up were yi ting n cheryl yeo.

i rushed dere aft work 2 find myself waiting 4 lik a hour watching dem play pool. was abit boring. den wen back 2 e chalet where we watched a movie wei cong brought. obviously it was a source of much excitement 4 e guy as dey could ont stp telling me bout it wen dey were playing pool. but it turned out 2 be a dissappointment cos e guys felt it was too tame. instead dey ended up laughing about it and trying 2 figure out e complicated story line. we den traded ghost stories n our views on religion, which was punctuated more den once by hillariously stupid comments by broderick. round jus past mid night, we headed 2 macdonalds where some of us stayed 4 supper n e rest went off 2 pasir ris park. i stayed in macs n we were joined by some of e 4/6 ppl who were also having a class chalet. den me ken felicia n huimin wasted away in macs den in pasir ris park. a drizzle made us return 2 macs where ken left us n e 3 of us ended up waiting 4 a sunrise dat made us realise we could not see e sun frm where we were. so we split n i went back 2 e chalet 2 find all e guys already sleepin.

preety much stoned e norning away b4 goin 2 e arcade 4 awhile. e rest went 2 either play LAN or pool. den a few of us went 2 wad we thought would be a buffet aft having been joined by et. dere wasnt any buffet cos it was e weekend. it was evening by e time we all met up at e chalet and et had already left. were going 2 go out 4 movie but den decided against it n had movie in e chalet, with e inclusion of cheryl yeo n janice n her friend. watched hot fuzz but e guys din get it, so most of em only were awake wen he shot up e village. den dey decided 2 go ghost hunting but i opted out. needed 2 rest, thugh it didnt seem 2 do any gd. e guys got back in 2 batches, one round 3 n e other round 7, where i left them.

2008-01-29T04:39:00.000-08:00

by now, i guess everyone has already submitted their choices. i dunno if i should hav put jjc as first. i only made 4 choices, namely, acjc, cjc, jjc, pjc. din out acsi cos i doubt i would be able 2 make it anyhow. but im quite surprised 2 find quite a no. of ppl putting that in their forms.

anyway, i learnt an important lesson yesterday. everyone has their flaws. so if u cant stand them, dont imagine u can change dem or ignore dem. i had 2 endure this really petty couple who were divorced n kept on argueing over the most idiotic things.

2008-01-25T05:42:00.000-08:00

okay. so e results are finally out. my scores for e Singapore-Cambridge General Certificate of Education (Ordinary Level) is as per follows:
English Language 3, Lit in English 3, Combined humanities 3, Mathematics 1, Add Mathematics 3, Physics 5, Chemisrty 3, Chinese 4, CCA 1. L1R5 16, L1R4 13.

its not spectacular nor am i very proud of it. so im postin it as a reminder 2 myself. im certainly glad that i improved frm 25 in prelim to 16, but i feel dat certain subjects shold hav been done better. lik eng, a math, physics. i actully liked eng n phy.. so its quite disheartening to see that i did not do as well as hoped. den 4 a maths i chiong lik siao, den still get a 3. its rather frustrating.

so now im stuck. on one hand tere is where i want to go, on e other, is where i can go. n i hav 2 choose 12 courses. n i've decided im not going poly. sigh. i really hope to get into IB, failing that would be ACJC. i suppoe JJC is fine but im really hoping to get a complete change of scene. its rather tiring to follow other ppl expectations of me. i don noe y i cant break out of dis. so i was hopin 2 lik get a fresh start if i was in a completely diff enviroment... i jus foud out IB cut off is 10. oh well. Damn.

2008-01-23T04:59:00.000-08:00

im gonna fast forward to today. e night b4 e O's results. i seem 2 be experiencing dis weird sense of calm when i think bout e results... could be i've already accepted dat i may do like really badly. oh well. its out of my hands.im actually more worried bout wad will happen next.

i was jus looking at e notes veronica passed 2 me e other day, n i realised i had learnt some of it b4 e O's n now i cant rmb anything! dat is real troubling cos i hav no idea how much i hav lost over my long n extended hols.

anyway, all e best 2 all who are collecting their results tmr!

when does one come 2 e point where one recognises dat it is futile 2 continue trying? are there signs that offer insight about what is really going on?

New Zealand

2008-01-21T06:51:00.000-08:00

New Zealand is about e coolest place on earth. I spent 2 wks in e south island, where it is known 4 its scenery*. And the truth is, its scenery really rocks. they filmed LOTR there!!! Not only dat, its got a really rich culture n history. Oh n I nearly 4got, FANTASTIC lamb shanks. It’s a must 2 try lamb shanks there. By e way, there are way more sheep dere than ppl. If u drive through e country you’ll know. along e coast eat fish n chips or seafood chowder. otherwise when in doubt, eat Lamb Shank!

Okay, enough of promoting e place. So we got dere and found e weather pretty nice, though it got a little cold at night,and burning hot under e sun. but there are heated beds and lots of sunblock so its ok. We spent 2 days in Christchurch den took dis train right across e island. e train went throug entire mountains! n dey were lik super rich in minerals. dere was a gold rush in NZ. So we went from east to west, and found dat dis lengthened our daylight time by lik an hour plus. Imagine, e sun rises at 6 and sets at 9plus.

Along e way we stopped at quite a lot of scenic stops and/or along e road 2 take photos. We took a lot. There were 3 cameras! Places/things of interest include hot springs, lake wakatipu, fox glacier, Wanaka, e fiord lands etc. We had horse riding but it happened 2 be e hottest day. So it wasn’t very comfortable.

Went glacier climbing too. Its I huge slope of ice by e way, and it changes everyday. So cool! And cos water flows under it, dere are these cracks and crevasses det are super blue ad can go on forever, or really deep. N I learnt, ice dat is whitish is easy 2 chip at or smash. E more blue it is , the more solid. So dere were sections of these blue ice dat I tried 2 hit and ended up jarring my arm or foot. Oh n we had metal spikes attached 2 our boots dat were provided 2 help us maintain our footing.

Sometimes we could even go under arcs of ice or go through “iceslides”. Mind you, e gradient was almost 0 and dere was almost always a pool of freezing cold water. So you’d stop sliding halfway and u hav 2 wiggle your way out on hard blue ice dat offered no grip at all. But it was fun.

Flying in a helicopter is also great, cos its so different from a plane. Wen it turns, u can feel e inertia pulling u and u can see e world outside spinning round, kinda lik in e omnimax at science center, but more cramped n noisy n exhilarating.

Had white water rafting too! We did a course with mostly level 3s n a few level 4s but spent quite some time floating 2 get 2 e rapids*. Aft e rapids we also went 2 milford sound.

Milford sound! Im not even going 2 try 2 describe it cos its impossible. But basically we took a long n scenic bus ride on dis highway dat is e only road 2 e place. den went on a boat n went into e sound*. Saw fur seals n dolphins lik 15m away.once again, nature managed 2 astound.

I cant stop talking bout my bungee jump too! E funny thing was, I felt more afraid wen I was back stage durig syf den wen standing on e board of wood sticking out of e bridge. Aft I jumped, I was really terrified. I was lik rushing head first into a river dat was lik 43 m away! Dats bout 10 storeys! 4 me e adrenalin rush kicked in jus b4 I bounced n was smiling lik an idiot even aft I got down. E high is jus amazing.

NZ aso has dis stone dat is green, thus ‘greenstone’. Dey carve dis stone n wood n bone into pendants n some of dem are really intricate. There is also this shell dat can only be found in NZ dat dey use 4 such things. So I brought some of it home 2 experiment with, which some ppl already hav.

sadly, e place is swamped with sandflies. dey bite u so dat bloos flows out of ur skin den dey drink it. dey are lik everywhere and e bites hurt n are very itchy. my dad still looks lik he had chicken pox only until recently. i was also missing home n my friends.

*Note: 1)most ppl spend 1 wk covering both north and south island (e whole of new Zealand) with their tour groups. My family has a rule never 2 go with e tour groups. Dats y we took so long. 2)rapids are measured level 1 to 6. 1 is barely moving water and 6 is lots of ppl falling out and dying. 3) sounds are like lakes dat open into e ocean.

Hols... very vauge

2008-01-21T06:48:00.000-08:00

E hols… cant really rmb much. Dere was an outing with my pri sch classmates. 2003 6d! was nice 2 see dem again. Some changed much, lik Edwin. Had several other outings I guess… nov passed really fast. Cant seem 2 rmb it. i think dere was a 412 one too... Den dec came and I was off to new Zealand! Missed e council chalet though. Damn.

Gradnite

2008-01-21T06:44:00.000-08:00

So spent my time finalizing plans 4 gradnite. Went 2 rent a tux with char n her mom. Den on e day was at char’s town place with Elaine n Cheri.

gradnite was okay… not great. food was so-so n it was not exactly entertaining.Was surprised 2 see dat not dat many girls looked bad in their make up. Y do dey use so much anyway? Isn’t make up 2 make ugly ppl look good? Thankfully I wasn’t e only guy in a tux. Otherwise would hav felt really weird.

Once again was shocked by sarah’s behavior n attitude. Firstly she got her friend rayan 2 come along. Rayan was fine, but lik wen sarah was told dat rayan was not allowed in, she commented dat it was e other ppl fault 4 not bringing their own friends… was lik omg! Den wen we dey were announcing e nominees 4 e prom queen, n Elaine was not nominated, she wanted 2 demand a revote!? She wasn’t even dere 4 e original round of voting!?. Just unbelievable.

Aft dat went 4 movie. But had 2 wait 4 a long time cos e movie was really late, lik 1 something n e gradnite ended at 11ish. Was abit torn cos I sort of wanted 2 join e councilors. so e few of us, char, rayan, elaine,cheri,renu n i walked for a while b4 goin 2 cine 2 jus sit n wait. cant even rmb e show.

Anyway, aft movie, went back 2 char’s town place 2 try 2 slp b4 heading out a few hours later 2 go 2 sch 4 e PAE briefing. Knew I could not apply but had 2 go anyway. oh yeah . lots of thanks 2 char's mom. 4 everything.

Realy long ago... round Os

2008-01-21T06:41:00.000-08:00

So aft prelims… basically studied every day. Gd thing was I could actually see that I was improving. Was kinda shocked dat there was so much I did not know n how simple e things dat did not know in e past were now.

I guess e ppl I was studying were a great help. Its abit sad that I only got to know some of them better now, like huimin n Sheryl, when there isn’t really much time 4 anything else other that preparing 4 Os. As much as i wish I had more time, I also can’t wait for all this to be over.

O levels finally reached. E drill was similar to prelim, but could feel e tension in e air. E papers were rather different frm wad I had expected. Was all different frm all e tys I had practiced with. Made it hard 2 gauge how I did.

Last day of exams was weird. Din really feel anything. Was only e day after dat it kinda hit me dat it was all over. Was lik dey said, dere really was dat vacuum dat u feel. Suddenly there was no real goal 2 work 4. Felt relieved n lost at e same time.

apologies

2008-01-21T06:36:00.001-08:00

sorry 2 e ppl who actually check this blog. i noe i haven posted anything for soo long.i will try not 2 do it again.

2007-10-02T06:19:00.000-07:00

arrgh!!! i got 25(L1R5, without -2 frm cca) for prelims!!! or 26... not 2 sure... but dats bad enough! sure its an improvement frm lik 40 plus at mid yr, but still very dangerous... i fear i might not even get into ACJC at e JAE, or my desired courses at poly... frustrating.

2007-10-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

so proud of myself. mrs chang actually commented dat i hav improved alot... but to bad its abit too late. well, lets hope my additional effort in my sciences will see better results too. cos i jus failed chem. so sad. so now its full steam ahead 4 Os...

2007-09-30T06:21:00.000-07:00

i cant stand it. i seriously think my family falls into the category of dysfunctional family. its so irritating to see my parents and siblings quarrel over simple matters.
take today for example. dad wanted to go 2 my grandparents place early so dat he could watch e f1 japan grand prix. den my sis had to piss him off cos she took so long to do her project( we are all using my dads laptop cos e com is down). n dis could hav been avoided if she jus woke up b4 11 to do it when he was at e gym. den leaving e house, my dad was already in a bad mood, n my mom had to slowly take her time to close e windows in e house. for crying out loud! if my dad wanted 2 leave, he could hav jus helped my mom instead of standing at e door shaking his keys. n my mom could hav asked us all 2 close e windows. so we had 2 endure a journey where my dad sped all e way, which is not fun, since it seems dat he might crash into every car we passed.
n dis happens all e time, n it includes my bro. all 4 of em will be throwing their tantrums at home and pissing off each other. its surprising dat dey cant see e tension in e air n learn 2 jus shut up. its a wonder im not traumatised. but i really cant stand it.
really, every time their life sux, dey jus take it out on anyone and everyone. dey should jus shut e fuck up n put themselves in e other persons shoes! i mean dats a fucking simple lesson dat should be taught by our parents rite? but my parents cant even tell dat dey are never completely not a fault, n dat it takes 2 hands to clap. wadever happened to sitting down and talking lik civilised ppl, instead of raising our voices? my mom keeps on saying dat we should listen more, but she rarely ever does.
im not surprised my prob is partly cos of their immature actions at home. its no surprise dat i always want to spend time away frm home. who wants to be caught in e middle of their stupid tantrums?

2007-09-29T07:12:00.001-07:00

monday, 17 sep
chem was tougher than i thought. geography too. din do a 12 mark question!!! die ready.

tuesday, 18 sep
amaths, paper 2 today. was harder den paper 1... lit, macbeth... a bit better den jlc but not by much.

wednesday, 19 sep
chem paper 1, haha, 25 % of getting any question right...

thurday, 20 sep
physics paper 1. mr tan very irritating. get us so scared.

friday, 21 sep
so boring... sch talks... only e last one was interesting. haha. cool videos n kfc vouchers.

2007-09-29T06:44:00.000-07:00

monday, 10 sep
emaths was ok. thot i did fine. ss however, was not very good, should hav spotted. will do dat 4 Os.

tuesday, 11 sep
Chi!!! i think i screwed it, din do all e personal response question. sigh. found e passage on e tea thing rather meaningful. had no history paper, but wondered if i should hav taken history instead of lit.

wednesday, 12 sep
emaths paper 2, was quite confident, i think i will finally do well.

thursday, 13 sep
eng. sigh, wad is examplified? wasnt sure. i barely paraphrased my summary... very scared. both language don look good. phy is gone too. din prepare enough. mus work harder!!!

friday, 14 sep
amaths was fine. in fact i thought it was easy. hope i actually do ok. if i had known it would hav been lik dat, i would hav spent more time on lit. wen 2 1 of e classrms 4 lit. blanked out! cant belive it. so dissappointed.

weekend, 15-16 sep
maxed out!!! shit. found it hard to study. sigh. really worried bout next wk.

2007-09-29T06:39:00.000-07:00

hmm long time since i last posted anything so will break it into 3 parts, last last wk, last wk, n dis wk. if got more time den will add somemore tmr.

2007-09-04T06:57:00.000-07:00

he is unbelievably selfish. my bro that is.
firstly, he will point the fan directly at his back and the wind will blow across my table and past my face before reaching him.
secondly, even when i put up with that, he insists that i cannot listen to the radio as he is sitting right in front of it and he wants to listen to his ipod.
thirdly, then when i do move out, he clutters the area in front of the radio so no one can use it and plants himself right next to the computer as he wants to listen to his latest songs that have yet to be uploaded to his ipod. so his computer game is running as his songs are being played and he does his work right next to the computer,all while disallowing anyone from using it. and he even leaves it like that and goes to sleep, scolding anyone who closes his programs to use the com.

how do you deal with imbeciles like this?

2007-09-03T07:46:00.000-07:00

start of e hols!!! ok. bit high. dunno y. maybe cos i finally managed to somewhat understand relative velocity. wen 2 library today. probably will do so whenever i'm like not in sch or out. can study better there. e bed and com n tv at home are too tempting. ok dis is getting very weird so i shall end here. its very creepy to think that there is someone reading over ur shoulder as u type

2007-09-01T06:34:00.000-07:00

oh and i just remembered, im a "Furtwelwee" fur-twel-wee. haha. that was how 4/12 was misspelled on e cake.

2007-09-01T06:09:00.000-07:00

been awhile so dis will be long. e events start with e most recent

to all teachers out there, esp those who taught me, happy teachers day! apologies for being a little late. had a blast on friday. met up with ppl frm 6D! oh yah if any of u see this, go to http://jps-6d-2003.blogspot.com/. i think all of u really rock. except for royston. e stupid guy blames me for not inviting him and for having to rush off. wad he doesn't realize is that i only told e few whom i could reach that i was going to amk pri to see mrs seah and that they were free to join me. stupid bugger. had planned to end that day on such a high note, den he must come and do something stupid to spoil my mood.

e concert was not bad. gd job councillors, esp e sec 3 comm who worked really hard. i didn't really watch e whole thing but i watched enough rehearsals to figure out what it was like. e beat boxing was cool. amazing. but e anti-climax was the dance i think. very disappointing because it could have been much better. well i really hope that e dancers take this as a lesson to learn from. if not, i really have nothing to say.

i have decided to be related to tan si jay as my brother in blood and name but certainly not in spirit. its quite amazing how idiotic he can be. and im not jus being petty. if a stranger held a knife to your throat, would you stay with him? obviously not. but i don't really have a choice now. so if by the time i return frm army, im moving out if he hasn't. i really hope that he does not gat married. so that if he gets a terminal illness and needs an organ transplant, i will stand by his bed and laugh at him. and i was right. he does have to pretend not to be himself to keep his girlfriend. he was dumb enough to let that slip.

O level prelims Paper 1. sigh. very scared. don think i did well. but to those out there who care, lik woonting n Dr hong, i will persevere.

ok. not as long as expected. gd!

2007-08-23T06:53:00.000-07:00

i don believe it. even mrs chang assumes i know everything. for those who were not present, let me script it out for you.
i was trying to do this E maths paper and i thought my answer to a particular question was very odd. so i scanned through it and noticed the phrase "hired purchase", which i had no idea what it meant. so i raise my hand and asked mrs chang.

mrs chang: yes?
me: what does "hired purchase" mean?
mrs chang: you dont know? i thought you know everything?
me: if i did know, i would not be asking!
(at least it went something like this. was more annoyed then actually trying to rmb what was said)

i don mind sharing what i know, but i guess it is very frustrating and annoying and agonizing when i get looked down on by others who expect me to know something i dont. im human too, and if i did know everything, i wouldnt have to give a shit about anything else. but obviously i do because I DO NOT KNOW EVERYTHING! hope the ppl around me get the point. n do spread the word cos my blog has a small audience.

n we had this SEM survey. they asked questions bout the school. we were supposed to have an hour but were chased out. i had yet to finish giving my comments to the school. and i realized the school is rather crafty. they asked questions like "i get enough chances to express my point of view. SA,A,D,SD" and "school values and policies are explained. SA,A,D,SD". i think they should follow up with like whether the school actually accepts our views with an open mind or if we accept the explanations they give for the rules and policies.

2007-08-20T07:13:00.000-07:00

Timothy was in sch today!!! was really fun talking 2 him again. finally got some interesting n intelligent conversation. n sarah n e others din tell me dey were going out 4 dinner on sat!!! not fair. i could have made it. but no one decided to tell me.

lessons were actually quite easy today but felt really tired. so weird. had to write gd point bout e other ppl durin cep. den had NE quiz... so stupid. we were guessing how it was supposed to be done. n i only got 312000. got other ppl get 500000+... so unfair. physic was cancelled aft dat.

saw e sec 3 dancers practising. i personally think e performance will be worse den e lion dance dey did earlier dis yr. dey are really 2 complacent. not surprising dat got ppl wan 2 insult dem. i really hope dey will fall flat on their faces n wake up. if not, dance is more doomed den i had thought. since dey r rather close with other dance seniors, dey should go ask 4 help.

councillors aso havin prob with teachers day. sigh. too bad got so many things happening at e same time 4 em. dey should try 2 delegate more work if possible. make life easier.

slacked 4 half n hour durin e studying thing. played netball. would hav completely trashed e other team if nick had not joined in. but was really fun. haha.

so disappointed in my mum. 1st she could not rmb my i/c no. which was actually ok. but den she 4got my birthdate. as in completely.

shit. prelims so close, im getting very short tempered. apologies to all who encounter dis wrath.

i would like to stress once again, i do not know everything. so stop assuming i do. it gets rather irritating when u r referred to as an encyclopedia.

n e sch says dey cant do anything bout my NDP cert. so i will send it to moe. aft dat, i will complain to e papers n sen it to ministry of defence. too bad. im sick of having to keep certs dat don belong to me.

will stop b4 i fall asleep on my dads com.

2007-08-17T07:05:00.000-07:00

hmm. Although 2 anyone else dis might seem no diff frm other posts, it is! I am using my dsds E90 to type dis. I think its really cool. But not exactly very easy.

Wanted 2 stay back today but got tuition. So sad. I think e studyin in sch are actually not bad. Can really get things done.

Had chi lesson today. As in real lesson. Sigh. Had hoped 2 not touch it again till jc. Oh well.

2007-08-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

Prelims n Os are rather close so i don hav time 4 long posts. so will do short ones lik dis more often. was talkin 2 my mom jus now, realised im lik mt. krakatau. my emotions r lik boiling over, dere is e ever increasing pressure, and i even hav very aggravating ppl around me. so do pardon me if im very unfriendly for now. its all unintentional. but these are jus lik geysers n mini eruptions off e main volcaono. n i really cant wait 4 e grand explosion. it should help alot. help me at least.
oh nearly 4 got. i am SUPER PISSED cos my ndp cert has a spelling error. my name is TAN SI IAN not TAN SI LAN.

i think it is very different.

Tango Alpha November Sierra India India Alpha November , and not
Tango Alpha November Sierra India Lima Alpha November

2007-08-12T06:37:00.000-07:00

wah... tired. i jus realised dat my national day outing was lik e single longest break i've had frm studying. 12h! wow. ok i guess dat seems pretty meaningless but its quite significant to me. feeling really fatigued. life has been rather hectic. cant seem 2 find enough time 2 catch my breath. wen i do, i still got 2 study. but den again, workin hard does not guarantee success.

i suddenly realized dat i don really understand myself. if i did, i would not hav let my life get so messy n confusing. n e worst part is dat its not bout my studies. if only there is lik some kind of drug dat make u 4get specific things. maybe i should try hypnosis. haha.

lik huishan pointed out dat day in e library, i am weird. on that note, i would lik to say that although many of u (my frens) might think im lik very strong n sure of myself, i am not. that i am clear about. i don want to sound lik i am boasting but by nature, i am quite selfless. n trust me that is not good. i mean, i live 4 others. i draw satisfaction frm e response of others. so while i appreciate that many of u think i am approachable, i hav to say that it would help if you guys could lay off till aft my Os. cos im really not in e best of shape now.

n im not a genius. nor am i some talking, walking encyclopedia. so STOP assuming dat i always noe everything. i do agree dat i have a broad base of general knowledge but e only real reason u think i noe everything is cos its wad u decided, and its easy for you dis way. i never claimed to do so! in fact, i go round denying e fact! n u noe wads e WORST part?
I ACTUALLY GET BLAMED OR SCOLDED OR MOCKED AT WEN I DON HAV AN ANS!

that is some really fucked up mindset on the part of the idiot who actually blames me ( dis is dedicated to e few very horrible ppl who only know how to make me suffer).i mean come on. if anyone would just pay attention to the things around them, dey would not be so naive...

ok really tired now. sigh. guess i will postpone e even more wonderful facts of Dao Hui. otherwise i will die. bottom line, we all have our probs while i appreciate and while i thank u guys 4 ur various gestures, i aso have to let you know dat the real me is actually like a decomposing body in a closed ornate cupboard that is in an exhibit.

2007-08-09T17:59:00.000-07:00

had fun yesterday! wen out with felice, her bro, yao zhong, shu xuan, hui shan. at first we go bowling. which in a way was a waste of time cos we were lik bowling very badly. den we wen 2 play pool, was tryin 2 teach felice n hui shan how 2 play. n shu xuan could not join cos she was under 16. so she ended up going 2 e arcade with felice bro. aft dat felice managed 2 get her mom 2 let her watch e fireworks with e rest of us so we headed off 2 meet enna n nick who were on a date. oh n we were all trying 2 figure out wad dey were doing in e dark 4 e 100 mins of e movie.
we were kinda late so we ended up missing e first part of e parade. so we sat at e padang n watched e mass displays on e big screen. which was rather boring. so e main highlight was e fireworks.
2 enna, we were jus discussing about u n nick loh. nothing much 2 say wad... or at least it only revolves round e same thing. n i jus remembered. i nearly got nick 2 put his shoe down my mouth.

2007-08-08T03:47:00.000-07:00

im still sore bout not being able to go 4 e votin for e new dance exco. as much faith as i hav in e sec 3s, i think dance is screwed. but then again, it was since e fateful year that 'ahem' even became one of those in charge of dance. haha, learn frm ss, evaluate the source. frm e nominations list we can obviously see that some were favored over others, as the dancers rmb very well who they actually nominated n who they didnt. oh well, since she is so lazy and does not have the foresight n e love 4 NHDS to have leaders FOR NHDS, n not slaves for herself, i guess we have to sit at the side and watch as the cookie crumbles. so sad. so dancers who read this, if u really wan things to work out, you hav a tall order waitin 4 u all.
National Day!!!... ok pardon e euphoria... today brings back quite a no. of memories. it just seems weird that a year ago we were preparing to perform for the last national day at e national stadium... really miss it. had so much fun, n so many new friends. on that note, Happy National Day to Fauzie, jian wu n e reat of e Guards unit that helped look after us, e ppl frm nus high like charmaine n margaret, n of course to all dancers (past n present) n Mr low, n all my other friends (dis applies to singapore nationals only. if ur not den enjoy e hols?).
oh i got a cert for 'outstanding service' to e student council. KS and i were bullying enna while waiting 4 our turn( 2 enna, i think i should jus apologize beforehand for all e times in e future dat i will tease u n nick, cos im prob goin 2 do it alot more. yah, so sorry) ... den its quite obvious dat 1 of e persons who decided e ppl gettin e service award very lazy... 4 reasons i shall not state cos it would put me in a difficult position. i think e band should record their nat. anthem n sch song so dat we can use it during normal assembly. it sound so much lighter n more refreshing den e original. n faster too.
i think today was rather fun, apart frm e fact that my class din win a single match... sigh. i blame mr chee for not letting us practice for it... e ending was abit odd cos dey squeezed us into e hall, n 4got to on the aircon. n we had to stay there for half n hour before getting let off. would hav been better to let us go home straight or let us watch abit of e concert...but at least had fun lah... so it was ok.

2007-08-02T05:34:00.000-07:00

hi Ariel, Ash, ah yi n uncle sab. hope u all are doin well. n happy birthday 2 ariel n ash. i apologize for being late. as you know, im sec 4 this yr. this also means im taking my o levels this yr. well i guess its been rather stressful because i have not been doing too well during my 1st 3 yrs in sec sch. played too much. actually i think i had too little fun. but its undeniable that i did not study hard enough. so i am spending a large portion of my time now making up for it. so far all the stress has been manageable thanks to my friends, esp a select few. but i am seeing a shrink to help me cope with the sudden overload that i have to make up for. so other than a few events n short periods of time, sec 4 has mainly been revolving round studying n getting ready for the preliminary exams in like a months time, and the actual Os in about 2 months.
So how is sch for both Ariel n ash? im sure it is very different right? n ariel, don't be so surprised that i replied. i usually try to when i can. do let me know if u read this. :)

2007-07-30T07:02:00.000-07:00

will try 2 aim 4 a post a wk, but im rather lazy n 4getful.
i don know y, lately got dis weird feeling... like very uneasy. its not nervousness or fear... n i have no idea whats causing it. sigh... i must be going crazy. after all, thats why i'm seeing e shrink...
to e dancers, i have already given my input, n that e rest is really up to you guys. i know that most of you have probably forgotten what i said but i hope that you guy do realize that there is a problem which has to be solved.
finally we are stepping down, n e new council exco can take over... hopefully they will actually do something that benefits others, n not make the same mistakes we did. we are trying to help, but there is only so much we can do.
i guess i am really kay po... after all, most of it is none of my business anyway...
ok i just lost my train of thought... was interrupted by my dad... -.-
who is chasing me off e com... better go b4 he cut e connection.

2007-07-23T03:20:00.000-07:00

i got like 5 min so i guess i will attempt to make myself seem less like a whiner... provided i interpreted the comment correctly.
i mus agree that my sun post does make me sound like a noob who is just complaining, n it is made worse by e fact that i am just a student. but i must clarify that i am confident that i do know what i am talking about, n that these are just opinions n i was/am too lazy 2 suggest anything better... ok so maybe i am just whining. but i admittedly have a big ego... so i resent the fact that i have misconceptions. do help me correct them.
i do realize that the sch organized this event to be a show, esp 4 e VIPs and that since it was planned by e already overtaxed teachers, we should be understanding. also, e food was probably e cheapest they could find so that as much money could go to e sch, n e waiters n waitress were part time... etc.
but as i said, my moms side of e family is in e restaurant business so i do know quite a bit about it. as i am also interested in events management, and thanks to my mum's friend, an event manager, i actually have done 'real work'... n have some rather different and interesting experiences compared 2 my peers. i have also planned sch activities, which might seem rather immature compared 90th, but i think that it is rather easy to spot when things go wrong.
i personally think i am more mature den my most of my peers, most of e time, in most ways. ( like i said, i have an ego) so do let me know about my misconceptions.
except don't stereotype me, esp since only a few ppl actually know me, or tell me its ironic that i don't know, even if you are joking. i take it that i am being insulted, n for all you know, i may actually have a better grasp of things than it seems. so lets just be very diplomatic and tactful.

p.s warning to anyone n everyone, i am trying to take things as a matured person. but hit below the belt and i get VERY immature. n though i am not old enough to sue or be sued, i know how e system works. so HA!

2007-07-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

its been 1 wk already so thing are a bit outdated... but who cares.
1st on e list! 90th anniversary... sigh. wad a disappointment. kinda got mixed feelings bout it.
e negative side: man e food was bad. i could be spoilt cos my uncles are in e restaurant business but i think it is a general consensus that it was not as good as it could have been...wont go into details. e entertainment was actually rather irritating. majority of the ppl there were current students who were moving around taking photos and interacting with their friends. even some of the ex students were doing so too.
most of the time, the performers on stage were ignored, or worse, were found to be irritating. the sch could have either asked less students to come, or had performances that did not demand one's attention but still be entertaining. one example was e chi cross talk. it was not funny but because of the mics, everyone had to be forced to listen. on the other hand, the CO performance was much better as it served as a sort of background music. one could listen to appreciate it, or jus let it flow past as it did not irritate.
of course there was the poor waiter, Nick, who had a really hard time with our table cos half e time there was no one there, n we got him nervous by all staring at him together. N i got forced onto stage to sing e school song... tsk tsk, a lot of poor planning on the part of the sch...

then there was e feeling of dread that a certain encounter might have led to... which in a way turned out to be a good thing, i hope.

so on a more positive tone, i guess i did have fun, helping to stick candles into e short glass cups, e interaction, and mostly e train ride home. that was e single most enjoyable part of the entire day. at e start was a bit upsetting cos june was pissed with eugene, n ran off first, but e rest of it was good, definitely. of course, tian jun n gang were quite funny. i did not expect you guys to actually go irritate him. good on you! by e way, if u guys see this, any of u ask bout anything regarding liang yuan's stupid question, i'll do more den jus pump you. n id lik 2 apologize 2 nick n enna... i might have gone overboard. nick pls don throw ur shoe at me... esp if ur in sch, i'm hoping u wont decide 2 use ur boots.

yeah... so that sort of wraps up 90th. i really hope grad nit is not like it, else i'll just walk out.

oh n i met zack in dat morn... quite a funny guy. he actually played rugby, n fishes! could not tell...

seems sch weeks are quite a drag... had 2 reshuffle e session with pamela cos mr tan decided 2 push our test forward. n den we met e horrible relief teacher... which led 2 mr yeo getting reprimanded... sorry mr yeo. so uneventful...

n we had e elections! finally... i cant believe that he used a scissors. think bout it. u hav a lot of small squares to cut, printed identically on many sheets of paper. do u (a) use ur hands to tear it (b) get a paper cutter, which is easily available in e GO or (c) use a scissors cos your in a hurry n your angry. thank goodness he din decide on (a). a paper cutter could hav reduced ur time spent on it by half, requiring only 1 person. but Nooo... dis idiot has to use a scissors... unbelievable.

den now tryin to hog e entire presidential election thing... i mean if u wan ppl 2 help, u only hav to ask nicely n early...instead of commanding ppl wad to do as n wen u please...
... i gtg, irritating sis is being a pest, will return asap. hopefully.

2007-07-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

firstly 2 my sis n anyone who might think i'm lame, i din ask u 2 read dis stuff. n i din ask 4 your comments. so do keep them 2 yourself.

hmm... ok dis won be in chronological order. i'm 2 lazy 2 try 2 rmb so i'll just type wad comes off e top my head.
so i went for dance on weds, id prob be there more often. force myself 2 work out... putting on weight. den just had 2 see e black mass.n e stupid black mass come over 2 scold me... so pissed. dance better not fall cos of that stupid thing. its one of e reason why lao shi is angry.... dance nomination, dunno who 2 nominate. like chee yew said, i am biased. but thats only cos e others are not really that prominent or forthcoming so i don interact with them. by e way, e lion dance thing that e sec 3&2s did was really bad... sec 3s, you have to realize that you are not as good as you think you are. many of you are so complacent that it is actually irritating trying to help you all. n do rmb that e lower sec will only learn from these poor displays.

just now during chinese ke ming made a good point. i guess i will be coming back to nan hua aft graduation after all. e council really has to review itself. it appears that right now, we are basically prefects, assistant teachers. i really do not think it should be like that. so bryan, yi jun n clarissa, you all better make that dialouge thing work. i think that will be a big step to achieving a real council. hope e next president will be able to do something. guess i apologise 4 not doing anything myself. b4 i 4get, i want 2 thank e ppl who feel that i have made a positive impact on their lives. 4 councillors guess anything is better den any impact from e balloon head. having ppl appreciate you really feels damn good

common tests coming up, i really hope my studying will pay off. i've really worked harder den ever over dis hols... kinda desperate 2 do well...

i hav also concluded that i'm evil n that i asked for it 2 happen to me. after all, if i consider him my friend den i should not have pulled a stunt like that. it has only upset everyone. well, i'm really sorry n i really hope things work out 4 u guys. by e way, for those who have no idea wad i'm talking bout, it might be better not 2 comment. cos its kinda hilarious when you guess wrongly... though i do appreciate your concern.

rawr... cant rmb wad else i wanted to say... so nvm. will end here. 90th tml...

2007-07-07T07:10:00.000-07:00

guess future post would be something lik dis. don really hav e time n chance 2 update 2 often, its wad happens when u hav siblings lik mine, so i'll just clump everything together.
ok so this wk was shorter den most, with youth day hols on mon... wen 2 see e shrink. really hope she can help though i hav a guess as 2 y i hav my prob. e rest of days were kinda uneventful, other then being locked out of the house n ended up havin tuition at e void deck, n e interviews.

e interviews sort of made it more obvious that there were great misunderstandings within e council itself, wonder if many others see it 2. really unsure as to how to n whether or not to help try solve things, really pity e next batch cos no matter which path dey choose, its gonna be hard. hope no more ppl choose 2 back out. though u ppl would prob not see this, i really hope u guys hang in dere.

it may seem lik a sucky job(it may very well turn out 2 b) but its a really great exp. n im sayin this even with LOL as e president. while i try 2 remain neutral, his hols meeting stunt really smashed my reason. based on that, he is not fit 2 interview de next batch, much less decide who's in n who's out. though u ppl would prob not see this, i really hope u guys hang in dere.

very worried bout dance 2. as e few of us know of e situation, *sigh*... i really hope to be able 2 come back to a NHDS n b proud of it. sec 3s! i noe u r all adjusting, but u all really need 2 buck up. if everyone jus put in a small effort, e job is simplified by many times. den lower sec... e sec 2s are markedly alot better compared to start of e yr though many are learnin bad habits frm e sec 3s n frm some older seniors too... i say we giv e sec1s a bashing... e girls are gd n dey noe it, but dat doesnt giv dem e right 2 show off bout it. N dey are actually known 2 suck up 2 ppl!!! Omg... so cheap. n e guys are jus as pathetic as e girls are strong, which means dey are VERY BAD!... n i thought my batch were bad.

as to my month long adventure, i guess im finally putting it in a box 4 storage, but im afraid i'll never 4 get it. esp e pain... u noe it hurts soo bad, but 4 e sake of those who u do not wan 2 affect, all e pain is stuffed into a over flowing cupboard, threatening to come out at any time. thanks to all e ppl who helped me through it, am really grateful. n 2 u, lik i said, i'll continue waiting... its quite odd. i can charm e mothers of my friends but seem lik an idiot wen it comes to bgr. i should be a sales man n con all e old gen ppl.

so muggings back on track n no more time 2 be wasted feeling sorry 4 myself. can do timed prac n do em well... xcept dat its still simple 4 now.

think dats long enough... will return at e next chance

read at ur own risk

2007-07-01T07:35:00.000-07:00

well! i never expected 2 start one of these, but i kinda realised how useful dey can be...
however i hav to make it very clear dat the content posted here may or may not be politically correct.
anything u read here is purely at your own risk. You hav been warned.